Guide You Home
by GKingOfFez
Summary: I felt like my heart, which had been thumping frantically about all night, had now been ripped out of my chest. Remus was dead. Remus/Tonks, death


_Another one that I started ages ago that I found floating in my folder. This one's sad, and is also my first and possibly only venture into writing in first person. Un-beta'd, just because. May do more, but we'll see. Inspired by: _http: (slash) (slash) files/cSfpyX3x*PkmmUx5-GRWZcO-wLWoRXaHYkku*l6YAc-_/SPOILERS_Lupin_Tonks_Ending_by_ ?width=737&height=517

…

"_Lights will guide you home, _

_And ignite your bones,_

_And I will try to fix you."_

-'Fix You', by Coldplay

…

"Remus!" I cried, darting through the dusty battlefield, weaving between duels and frantically searching for any sign of my husband. If I knew him, then this was where I knew he would be; right in the thick of the battle, his face locked in concentration and his wand flashing, taking down as many of the enemy as he could. "Remus, where are you?"

It was then I spotted Dolohov, a dangerous Death Eater who had been a pain in the Order's backside for far too long. His twisted face was full of glee as, with a throaty yell, he sent several people, students and adults alike, to the ground with a powerful spell that ripped apart the earth beneath him. My blood boiled at the sight, and I sent a stunning spell in his direction, which missed and hit another duelling Death Eater, who fell onto the dirt-bloodied ground. Dolohov then drifted out of sight, to my rage.

"Remus!" I screamed frantically, twisting around and returning to the search, my cry catching the attention of a large masked Death Eater who sent a Killing Curse my way. I dodged it, and then I was soon duelling a man who was easily twice my size, my wand a flash of multi-coloured light and adrenalin rushing through my veins.

Sweat was beading on my forehead, and running down my neck by the time I sent my opponent to the ground with a bloody nose and what was bound to be a killer headache when he woke up. That was, if he did wake up.

"Remus!" I called again, with a new determination, stepping over the Death Eater's body and continuing my search through the chaos of fighting people. "Remus, where _are_ you?"

"Tonks?" A voice replied, and my heart leapt in happiness, a smile firmly upon my face. I made my way towards the voice, pushing, shoving and kicking, and with disappointment I found Kingsley Shacklebolt, several Death Eaters bound and struggling at his feet.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were at your mother's?" he said, abandoning all pretence and looking at me with concern-filled eyes. His robes were ripped and bloody, and a gash was bleeding freely from the top of his bald head.

I shook my head, fighting back tears of bitter disappointment, "I couldn't stand not knowing," I said, repeating the same thing I had told Harry. To my surprise, his face fell, not into lines of anger, but of misery.

"What is it Kingsley?" I asked, while something seemed to be forcing itself up my throat. He knew something, I could see it in his eyes.

He opened his mouth hesitantly, but at that exact moment, several spells rained down from above and I looked up in terror to see the twisted faces of the enemies, some masked and some not, peeking through the windows and holes of the castle.

"Run!" Kingsley yelled, and I didn't need telling twice. I turned and ran, down the sloping decline of the lawn and away from the castle. There were beams of sinister light flying in all directions behind me.

I waited until I was out of range of the windows before I turned around again and with disappointment I realised that Kinglsey had disappeared into the thronging crowds. He had known something, something about Remus. My heart gave a terrified tug.

"Help!" cried a voice, and I turned to see a Hogwarts student dressed in dirtied pyjamas, cowering under the wands of three Death Eaters who were jeering cruelly at her. It was a pathetic sight that sent hot blood racing to my head.

"_Expelliarmus_!" I yelled immediately, rushing forward and brandishing my wand. I watched as the three wands disappeared into the air and the men's smug smiles were wiped from their faces. Then, with three quick _Stupefys_, they were all on the ground, and the girl was bending down to snatch her wand from one of the limp men's pockets.

"Thank you!" she cried, looking extremely relieved, though still on the point of tears. "I thought they were going to kill me!"

"No problem," I said, running up to her. She looked to be about 15 or 16, with shoulder-length stark blonde hair and eyes a piercing shade of blue that sort-of reminded me of Dumbledore's.

"Are you all right?" I said, surveying her messy hair and ripped clothes and brushing some dirt off the front of her shirt. There was a bruise forming on the girls exposed shoulder, and my motherly instincts were in full swing. I had a sudden urge to grab the girl and take her somewhere where she could be safe from the fighting. Children didn't belong in war. I suddenly thought of Harry.

"Yeah, I'm fine," the girl replied, patting down dust from her pyjama pants and avoiding my eye. "I mean, I've managed to last this long, haven't I?"

I had a sudden, long shot idea, which quickly overcame my disapproval at the cynicism of her statement. "Hey, you haven't happened to have seen Remus Lupin anywhere tonight?" I tried very hard to keep the desperation out of my voice, although some of it much have leaked in, for she gave me a pitying look.

The girl frowned, as though trying to remember something. "Professor Lupin? Yeah, I have actually. I saw him fighting about ten minutes ago down by the Astronomy Tower. Although I don't think-"

I rushed off so fast that she didn't even have time to finish her sentence. I thought I heard another shouted 'Thank you!' from behind me, but I neither looked back nor replied; thoughts of pulling the girl to safety were quickly overruled; there was a single purpose in my mind, and that was to get to the Astronomy Tower as quickly as I could.

I was zigzagging my way through the throng, sending off spells at random at black robed enemies, when my thoughts shifted somewhat inexplicably to my baby; Teddy was a home asleep at the moment, with absolutely no idea what was happening. If I died here, he would grow up without a mother, like Harry had…

With a grunt of anger and energy, I pointed my wand at a Death Eater's feet, and sent him flying back in a cloud of dirt and grass. That was never going to happen, not if I had anything to do with it. I was going to find my husband, help him win the war, and then return home to my baby and a better future. And Voldemort be damned, there was nothing that was going to stop me.

With renewed vigour and determination, I made it to the base of the Astronomy Tower. Everything was a chaotic disarray of dust and blood and rubble. From the looks of it, one of the giants had taken a sizable chunk out the top of the tower, and had showered the pieces down upon the fighters at the tower's feet.

"Remus!" I called once again, although I seriously doubted that anyone could hear me above the cacophony of noise. A large, blond and mask less Death Eater came into my view, pointing his wand at me and sneering.

"Looking for your filthy beast of a husband?" He yelled, shooting a sinister blue-green spell at me, which I barely dodged. "You'll find him over there." He pointed with his wand over to the very base of the tower, which was scattered with duelling opponents and debris.

My blood ran cold at his words. Still grinning a horrible grin, the blond man turned away from me, and with an animalistic yell, he launched himself into another duel with a boy who looked barely of age.

I was torn. Terrified, I glanced between the blond man's back and the tower base, hoping against hope that he had been lying. Why did he let me go? Was it to torment me? After another second of torturous hesitation, I took off again, racing towards the tower, my heart pounding in its place.

I reached my destination in no time at all and took a sweeping look around; there were bodies everywhere, some moving, some not. The giant twitching limbs of a spider curled over on its back made a wave of nausea force its way up my throat, and I turned away. It was then I remembered that it was on this exact spot that Dumbledore's body had landed after he had fallen off the Astronomy Tower.

"Remus," I whispered.

It was then I saw him.

He was so still. I felt like my heart, which had been thumping frantically about all night, had now been ripped out of my chest. Remus was dead, his vacant body lying heaped upon the ground, abandoned, his eyes wide and a layer of dust settling on his skin. I fell to my knees and crawled over to him, a strangled sob tearing itself from my throat. For the first time that night, I cried. No, crying was not the right word for it; I howled, clutching at his robes, tears streaming. I wanted to die myself.

"Wake up!" I yelled at him, shaking his limp form. "Wake up, you stupid bastard!" But he didn't reply. I felt numb and pain-filled at the same time, like time had stopped. He was gone. The man I loved; the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with; the father of my son; dead. I couldn't believe it. I didn't.

And yet, my eyes were telling me that it was indeed true, no matter how much I wished it wasn't. Remus was dead. With tears streaming down my face, I tenderly reached out to caress his cheek. It was with another strangled sob that I realised it was cold, the heat of life already stolen from him. In that moment I forgot about everything else, about surviving, about going home, even about the battle. Nothing else mattered.

"It's not fair," I hiccupped through my tears. I was shaking now, unable to hold it in, the vibrations causing the tiny beads of salty liquid on my face to drip, quivering, down my nose before dripping down onto Remus's face. "It's not fair," I repeated. "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

"Oh, isn't it?" a low, spidery voice replied. I swivelled around in shock, and suddenly the sounds and sights of the battle came rushing back, like I'd just burst through the top layer of water and into the air. People were screaming, bodies were dropping, flashes of light were flying. The battle raged on, but I didn't care anymore. All the while I kept my grip on Remus's shirt, as though scared that if I let go, for even a second, he would vanish.

I located the source of the voice immediately. "You!" I snarled, and the… _thing_ before me laughed back, the sound demonic and scarcely human. However, it was the familiarity that unnerved me the most.

"Now, now, that's no way to talk to your Auntie!" Bellatrix Lestrange simpered, her dark eyes bright and feverish, as though she were in her element in the midst of the chaos of war. She looked deranged, reminding me of the picture that had haunted my nightmares some years back from the Prophet, the one where Bellatrix had laughed maniacally at me in black and white under the title _MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN_.

I didn't remember snatching up my wand and pointing it at her, but the next thing I knew, my only defence was flying out of my hand and far away to be of any use. I had to choke down a pathetic sob of fear then, and the hand clutching my husband's robe had clenched tighter.

"How will your mummy feel, when she finds out her daughter's gone the same way as her Mudblood husband and her filthy werewolf son-in-law?" Bellatrix cried, drawing nearer. I saw her wand twitching in her hand, could see the way it was itching to point itself at me, the words already forming on the devil-woman's lips. I was going to die.

I thought of my mum, then. I thought of dad, and of Teddy. I thought of home, the smell of the pond in the garden, Chocolate Frog cards stuck to the walls and of Remus. "She'll be proud of me," I whispered, "For fighting for the ones I love."

I looked away from Bellatrix and back at Remus then, replacing my hand on his cheek. Bellatrix snarled, and I sensed rather than saw the wand, but I didn't care. All I can see is Remus. All I care about is Remus.

"You stupid half-blooded filth! _Avada Kedavra!"_

And Remus is the last thing I see before everything goes green, and then black.

…


End file.
